


Insomnia

by haosmullet



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Cute, Domestic Fluff, Dorms, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Platonic Relationships, but its alright at the end, chan is just stubborn also, jisung is also a sweetheart, kinda angsty, they're just cute, whats new about that really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 05:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haosmullet/pseuds/haosmullet
Summary: Written from the fic-starter: “Shut up; of course I want to stay up with you”. Chan trying to deal with his insomnia while still trying not to burn the dorm down for making a sandwich.





	Insomnia

Those days were hard. Chan knew he had done what he could, he did his best on producing, writing, creating little masterpieces for the group; trying to highlight in each song their strengths. He did it all but he still couldn’t get out of his studio. The late nights being his best friend; so close he seemed to have forgotten his way back to his room, there was his home instead. It seemed unavoidable; when everyone seemed to be asleep, his mind started working on high speed, his worries coming back to meet him, his tasks seeming to beg for him to over-perfect them. 

 

It was as tiring as it sounded for him, also. He wished he could just turn a simple switch off and go to his bed, at the end of the corridor. It wasn’t that distant, just a few steps; steps that seemed like miles away. It felt lonely, and yet so familiar to him. On that night, without any change, Chan locked himself at his studio, too late in the evening, too much on his mind, his computer light presenting itself not as a hope at the end of a long tunnel but the cause of his wish to escape. 

The fact that the release date was getting closer and closer was not helping at all. Even though everything were already set and ready, Chan seemed to find even more places to work on; beats to get clearer; mixings to get better. It was getting closer and everything was a mess he couldn’t seem to organize. It was all too much on his head. 

 

3AM. His eyes couldn’t seem to focus anymore. His head begging for some painkillers at least (if resting wouldn’t be an option). He needed to eat something; not being able to dine, or anything before that. Minho wanted to kill him already, if he, somehow, found out he spent the whole night awake and without anything on his belly; it was over for Chan, and then there would be no album anyways. Maybe that was the right option, in the end. 

Getting up from his chair, Chan could feel his body nagging at him, asking for rest. But he couldn't anyways, that cursed insomnia would hunt him until the weak beams of light would meet his tired eyes; he should at least do something useful with that. Not even considering that the songs were, for sure, the cause for that insomnia, that was not important on that moment. Making his way to the kitchen, he tried not to make a single sound, trying not to wake up anyone on his process of getting food and getting some medicine. He could do it. 

The cutlery, on the other hand, had different plans. The dead silence present on the dorm being bothered by pans, forks and knives clankling. He was already pissed at those stupid utensils. A simple sandwich, was it ask for too much? He was not that clumsy, not like that. 

That thought left his mind as soon as the frying pan slided through his soft and gentle hands. The loud noise finding its way through the corridors. Chan was already regretting even getting up from his comfortable chair. He could just wish nobody would wake up from that. Nobody would, they’re always sleeping like rocks, he thought on that moment, slowly reaching out for the cause of that messy noise on their house, calmly, as if he could be exposed at any minute. 

 

The eggs he was preparing, using a pan lid to muffle the noise as well as he possibly could (since they didn't need any more accidents), were almost ready when he heard a light shuffle behind him. Next to the door a too sleepy boy, rubbing his eyes both from the laziness and the contact with the kitchen light. 

‘Hyung, what are you doing up?’ Jisung said, a rusky voice meeting Chan’s ears; his mind now filled with more regret. 

‘I’m just hungry, I came to eat something.’ And he thought his roommate would believe on that blunt lie.

‘And why weren’t you sleeping before that?’ Jisung shot him a slightly annoyed expression that blended well with his puffy sleepy face. 

‘I was busy, but I’ll be there soon. Did I wake you up?’ Chan tried to stay focused on what he was doing, not really wishing to worry or to bother the other guy on his well deserved rest.

‘It’s alright, I was getting up already to go to the bathroom’ 

 

The silence met them, the same silence that Chan found covering peacefully their dorm as he made his way through it. There were no more excuses available at his mind for the rest of the interrogation he would probably need to go through. 

 

‘Is everything okay, Chan?’ and it had already started. He wish he could not be filled with insecurities, that those insecurities did not affect the way he opened up with the ones he trusted. He didn’t want to worry Jisung in any way, how selfish would he be if he just simply poured his problems over the tired and hardworking boy. He deserved to rest his body and also his mind. 

‘Of course, everything’s fine.’ His voice distant, it felt, even for him, that someone else was answering for him. 

‘It’s clearly not.’ Jisung made his way from the kitchen door to the chairs they had on the kitchen cabinet, sitting there like a therapist, waiting for his client to cross the barrier and tell him everything. ‘What’s going on?’ 

‘Nothing much, Ji. Don’t worry, really. I’m going to bed already, you can go back to sleep.’ 

‘If you’re going already I can wait for you, eat your sandwich and we’ll go.’ That was low. Chan stared blankly at the wall in front of him, going through the option he could choose from to get away from this situation. The variety was not really grand. Not at all, actually. 

‘I’m just having some troubles to sleep, but that’s cool.’ Would that work? It seemed that the answer would be no, for sure. 

‘Hyung.’ Jisung called his attention, waiting for the boy to finally look at his eyes, for the first time since that questionnaire started. Chan stared at his eyes, carrying some sort of scared expression on his face. Jisung trying to reassure him with a softer one, feeling almost almost like he was reading Chan’s thoughts with his eyes. ‘I’m listening to you.’ 

A soft sigh left Chan’s lips, he let his shoulders fall down, losing the tension that were held there and the boy didn’t even notice. ‘I’m just..’ even him couldn’t describe it with words, he didn’t know exactly how he was feelings. He was just everywhere, all the time, and it was tiring. ‘I’m just thinking about everything everytime and I can’t rest like that. I feel like I need to finish some stuff before the release but nothing really.. Gets the way I want.’ 

‘You’re working really hard for us, Chan, you know that, right? I know this won’t help the thoughts from coming but.. Everything is already perfect because we’re doing and working on it all together. And that was what we always wanted, right?’ 

Chan couldn’t help it; the tears forming behind his eyes, he was just so tired of being locked inside his own head. ‘I know.’ his voice trembling a little. 

‘And you don’t need to hold it all in, right? I’m here for you, always. Just talk to me if you’re feeling pressured. Please?’ Chan could sense how worried Jisung was, staring at his hidden face. That was what he wanted to avoid. 

‘I don’t want to worry you, or anyone of the guys. I’ll handle it, I know..’ he wasn’t really sure about this, he just wanted to say it and pretend that he would actually achieve it. 

Chan felt the soft and caring embrace from Jisung, holding his side close, as he would still face down, not courageous enough to handle that situation. ‘I love you, Chan. That’s what I do. I worry about you.’ Chan could feel his ears getting hotter by the minute, his heart getting warmer by the sound of that. What was that? ‘Now what do you need me to do to help you? We’ll finish and we’ll sleep.’ He wished to be into that hug for hours if he could. The safety that Jisung gave him; what was that?

‘Listen.. Thank you. For being here for me and listening. But don’t.. Go to sleep, really. You’re tired, I know you want to rest and I want you to-’ 

‘Shut up. Of course I want to stay up with you. I’m not sleepy anymore. We’ll work on the song and summon our sleep back.’ 

 

Chan smiled. It felt like the first time in forever since the last time he did that. He felt better now.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> So, what did you think? Did you like it? Tell me! :)  
> Please, leave comments, suggestions, or anything you want! \o 
> 
> If you wish to request me anything, or just chat about kpop, hit my dm on twitter @mhaosmullet!  
> Here: https://twitter.com/mhaosmullet 
> 
> See ya!


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